Danged Squirrels and Hard German Noggins…

The continual skirmishes between the owner of a bird feeder and the ever resourceful, ingenious squirrel sometimes makes you just want to give in. You can go to any bird store online or one near you, and they always have some new gadget or food that should deter the squirrels. Some people even create their own devices. I know one elderly gentleman (who apparently didn’t have much to do) who rigged his feeder with a low voltage electrical current. He’d stand by his window and wait for the squirrels. As soon as he’d see a squirrel mount the feeder…zap! It didn’t kill the squirrel just stunned him a bit. My success with the squirrel battle is the Droll Yankee Flipper. Read more…

The Flipper has a battery in it. It is set to go off if a certain weight is placed on it. If a squirrel gets on it, it begins to rotate very quickly and throws the squirrel off. It’s fun to watch (no squirrel gets injured or maimed, PETA). They look a little drunk but that’s all. Well, here’s where my saga begins. I have my feeder high in a tree on a pulley system (our deck is about a story off the ground) which enables us to see the birds eat. We were using a heavy nylon line to hold it up. We also have a baffle. Well, one squirrel got so frustrated, he chewed through the line above the baffle and the whole thing fell to the ground with the squirrel yelling wee wee wee all the way down. Unfortunately, one of the snap dooma fliggees (I just made the dooma fliggees part up) which holds the battery onto the feeder, broke off which made it difficult to keep the battery pack attached to the feeder itself. My husband then buys a wire with a 400 pound gauge (he has always said that the squirrel’s bite pound for pound is equal to that of a great white). Take that you rats who live in trees! Well, his rigging of the battery pack to the feeder didn’t work and it fell to the ground like Newton’s apple. I’m fairly good at fixing things and decided to try my hand at attaching the battery pack back on the feeder (folks, the Yankee Flipper costs anywhere from $100+ depending on the one you select and mine was less than a year old, therefore, the valiant attempt to fix it). My attempt could have put me in contention for the Darwin awards. My solution…tape. Yep, tape that battery back on. Well, the downside to that (we’ll hear more about the real downside later) is that if you tape the sucker on, it will no longer be able to rotate. But I TAPED IT ON ANYWAY. Pulled it back into its original position in the tree and stood back, hands on hips with a self satisfied smile on my face. I reach down to pick up the roll of tape and see a turtle by the tree. As I look at the turtle, this fell and hit me on the back of my head (at least it wasn’t a frozen hunk of crap from an airplane):

It weighs about 4 1/2 pounds. There’s some good here. The feeder holds 5 pounds of food and the feeder was full. Good thing the whole thing didn’t come down. Also, it’s a good thing I wasn’t looking straight up. Nothing good could have come of that and I would have been short listed for the Darwin’s. My husband had just left the house. I sit down. Not dizzy, no nausea, wasn’t sleepy, none of the stuff associated with a concussion. For once my hard German noggin came to my rescue. Normally my hard German noggin gets me into trouble for being thick headed (good pun). Anyway, I called my husband to come home because my hair is matted with blood. He very tenderly looks at the cut and he says, “that was a stupid thing to do”. I love you too dear. The cut was only about 1/2 of an inch and had stopped bleeding. My dear sweet husband then washes my hair for me. Everybody say awwwww.